Week 1 - Listen to Learn

In 2012, I am going to try to write one poem every week. This is week 1.

Listen to Learn
January 7, 2012

Words that hurt
That cut, that strike
Words that warn
To stop a fight

Words of wisdom
Understanding and strength
Words of knowledge
From experience drank

Words that come
And risk the wrath
Words from love
To guide the path

Words that raise
A protest of pride
Words that cause
A humbled mind

Words that help
Relive the stress
Words that bring
The peace of rest

Go

The poem (or speech or whatever this is) that I wrote and recorded in the first ten minutes of December 2011.
Just kinda venting.

Go
There is a time in your life when you look and stare and you think
What am I doing with my life
And you wonder why am I here, what am I doing
How is this going to help me in the future
And you think and you think and you think
And you overthink
You exhaust yourself and you’re stressed until you can’t think anymore and then you think of that stress and the troubles and dilemmas that come with not thinking, not planning not knowing and you sit down and cry and say
WHY
Why don’t I know, why can’t I think
Why can’t I afford that or go there and what am I doing my life
Why aren’t I happy and peace or smiling
Why can’t I cry, why do I feel fat, and why am I sitting here depressed and just eating
Why don’t I go for a walk in the park or see friends or be with family
why don’t I live just a little bit more
Live my life out, fulfill it do something worth doing
Play an instrument, learn a language, make friends or try out
Join a club, have a hobby, take risks, try to bake
And you think that and wonder and stress as you lecture yourself on the things you could do or should do and are not
And you stress and you lecture and spend all your time on the stressing and lecturing and and when you are done
You’ve done nothing, no living no trying or failing
No winning or loosing no smiling or falling
You’re the same lost and stressed and still stressing and failing
Cause you never stepped out in any acting or doing
So next time you’re stressing throw caution to the wind and just GO

- Dec 01/11



Here's a vid of my reading it. *video link*

Nerdfightastic

On Sunday I went to a nerdfighter gathering that I had the privilege of organizing. It was the funnest thing I’ve ever been to. I got there half an hour early because my parents dropped me off and then I waited inside of the building we were meeting outside of. (When I said we were gonna meet outside, I somehow didn’t realize that I live in Winnipeg and therefore November means winter which means cold.) I had brought along my iPod as a time keeping device and my copy of Paper Towns so that my fellow nerdfighters would know where to gather. I sat for fifteen minutes with butterflies buzzing in my stomach convincing myself that no one was coming and I would be a loser and all alone all afternoon. Then I just did it went outside to wait at the designated spot. (It was still fifteen minutes before the actual gathering was to begin, but I went out just in case anyone was early.)
The earliest anyone was, was like five minutes early so I was a little chilly by that time. I was watching a little kid shoving snow off a ledge when a guy siddled up to me, well not siddled, that’s a creepy words, I guy came up beside me, looked at my book and said “Are you here for the nerdfighter gathering?” If I had been a radom person reading that book sitting there I would have felt bad for him, he almost looked athough he expected me to say no. Thankfully I grinned and said “Yup! I’m Becky, what’s your name?” He was Justin and soon after my buddy Emily (who introduced me to nerdfightaria) came up. We waited til two and then Dan and Destiny came. By ten after two we decided waiting inside would be forgivable and migrated to where I’d waited when I first arrived. By the time we got inside there were like eight of us. Then three more came. Then we all reintroduced ourselves, promptly forgot almost everybody’s names and got ready to nerdily make friends. We had no plan, I’d not known if anyone would show up and that always makes planning ahead difficult. Those of us who wanted bought hot chocolate and mini donuts and then our group sat down in one of the seating areas (a practically empty one) and we sat there for about two and half hours just chatting.
I have never met a group of people that I felt more instantly at home with. We sat down, and we were friends. Conversation started slow but as common topics were breached and common interests discovered tongues flew smoother and faster. We could make Monty Python references and not have to explain them, we could wear Pizza John shirts and have others exclaim at their awesomeness, we could admit to all out loving Doctor Who and meet with approval not eye-rolling. It was so fun. Being able to whip out my video camera and have people act as though that was a completely normal thing to do instead of hiding their faces, to look at someone’s giraffe earrings and love them because they related to the vlogbrothers, not because they were giraffes. To clean up the garbage at our table as an action of Not Forgeting To Be Awesome. To admit to vlogging and have people think that was super cool, not need a definition.
Sunday November 27, 2011 from 2-5pm was when I first really felt I was not sitting on the outside of the conversation but I was part of it, that I was a part of something bigger, a part of a community, a part of nerdfightaria.



That's just some thoughts from a nerdfighter gathering...

Watching

Watching (October 23, 2011)

Seasons change,
We must move on
Don’t get cozy,
It won’t last long

Grass is dying
Leaves are falling
Sun starts hiding
Rain is dropping

Colors deepen
Bright as fire
Firs stay green
Reaching higher

Hope through winter
Waiting for spring
Standing tall
As jingle bells ring

Then melts the snow
The puddles form
Buds open up
To air grown warm

Flowers bloom
As sun shines bright
Heat beats down
With glowing light

Then grass starts dying
Leaves, they’re falling
Sun tries hiding
Rain is dropping

Back full circle
Start again
From looking back
Always abstain

Seasons change
We must move on
Don’t get too cozy
It won’t last long



Sorry I haven't posted in eons, haven't written anything in a long time. I turned eighteen yesterday though! That was fun =)

Photographs

Photographs (August 16, 2011)

You know how to act
How fake a smile in the eyes
You bare your teeth at the world
Thank of daisies and butterflies
The camera goes flash
The people turn away
Shining eyes fade to away
You can’t ever cry
It makes make up run
Give a sigh, bite your lip
Just makes it pinker anyway
Shake your head
Stand up straight
Smile again, shine your eyes
You can cry on the inside
And hurt all you want
But if you smile on the outside
That’s all that they want
Some will ask questions
But you lie, you’re okay
They know that you’re lying
But don’t know what to say
So you sigh
Fake a smile
Bare those teeth at the world
But the world doesn’t care
As long as your eyes smile too





Hi readers! Thanks to those of you who read my stuff, and those who comment, I always love hearing from you! I just wanted to tell you all that I have another blog I've recently started that I'm reviewing every book I read on. If you're interested in that feel free to check it out over here: Becky's Blogging Books. Thanks for reading!
- Becky

Conversation

Conversation (August 16, 2011)

Talkidy, talk
Yakidy, yak
Chatting is easy
It’s lighthearted
It’s funny
But stuff that’s inside
No that’s dirty
That’s yucky
Who wants to talk deep?
Talk of puppies and babies
Talk of rainbows and parties
Of laughing at stories
And make people happy
Don’t let loose your problems
Then people get burdened
When it’s your stuff to bear
Don’t talk about sad stuff
Those worries or problems
People don’t want to hear that
It makes stuff so awkward
So hide that away
Talk of happy and silly
Talk of sunshine and blue sky
It’s prettier anyway

Fire-Breathing Dragons

This is another one of five poems I've written in the last hour. I'm on fire! (Ouch, honestly no pun intended there...)


Fire-Breathing Dragons (August 17, 2011)

If you think of the future
You might fall down and die
It’s just too big
And too scary
When the present’s still here
Take one day at a time
Cause the future’s a monster
It’s a great fire-breathing dragon
Breathing hard down your neck
But when you come up to it closer
And really look in its eyes
You learn dragons can be nice
It’s a lovely surprise